My husband calls me a “Femi-Nazi” now and then, which is a term coined by the infamous Rush Limbaugh. Although I object strongly object to the characterization, I must admit I can be overly sensitive to the feminist point of view. I want to be respected for my accomplishments and my intelligence and not for the way I look. Standing atop my soap box proclaiming how society sends women mixed messages and creates unrealistic expectations, only to I find myself constantly watching my weight and keeping tabs on every grey hair.
Growing up I watched my female role models solve complex murder mysteries, defuse bombs, beat up bad guys and chase down villains all while wearing 3 inch heels and looking like super models.
I have come to realize that I am suffering from “Charlie’s Angels” syndrome. The “I can be all things to all people and look great while doing it” disease.
This disease only gets worse with age, the older we get the more we fight it, mentally and physically. We fight to retain our youth and stamina only to find it out pacing us further and further each year. Our 3 inch heals become flats, our nights out on the town are traded for little league games and school functions, and then comes the dreaded thank you “ma’am” by the young cashier at the supermarket.
But that’s okay, I have my mind, and as a good feminist would say it is all I really need. I have accomplished many things in my life and I have proven that I am not an idiot ( most of the time), which should be enough.
Unfortunately though, like beauty and youth, mental ability fades with age also and I sometimes struggle to remember where I parked the car and or what I came in the room for. I realized that you really can’t hang your hat on your mind either.
So what is it? What is left for us after our hair turns grey and time leaves its subtle changes on our bodies and minds?
The only thing I can think that is of real value of is our character and our reputation. What will people remember us by, or will they remember us at all. Will we be spoken of kindly or with contempt? Did we keep our promises? Did we live up to our obligations? Did we stand firm on principal? Did we fight injustices? Did we do the right thing?
Like beauty, society has also done a good job of skewing right and wrong. There is no longer good and bad. Black and white is now just grey and there are no longer clearly defined boundaries of what is right and what is wrong. Character has been replaced with self esteem and values such as honor, loyalty, and commitment are only spoken of in the Military.
So where does this leave me? Well, I will still dye my hair and will probably be on a diet for the rest of my life, but I will stand firm on matters of character and principal because when “anything goes” then “nothing matters“.